


disorganised crime

by meltedmarsbar



Category: The Maze Runner (Movies), The Maze Runner Series - All Media Types, The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Partners in Crime au, There's like a brief mention of blowjobs but not the actual thing (yet)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-25
Updated: 2015-09-25
Packaged: 2018-04-23 08:25:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4870001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meltedmarsbar/pseuds/meltedmarsbar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thomas and Minho rob their homophobic principal's house armed with just an eHow article and a stolen stethoscope.</p>
<p>-</p>
<p>"Skimming the eHow page for “How to Crack a Safe” at 11.30PM while pretty much inhaling burgers from the McDonald’s drive through suddenly doesn’t seem like adequate preparation."</p>
            </blockquote>





	disorganised crime

**Author's Note:**

> This was requested by Brie, who is amazing, and I love her.

For two boys whose combined IQ is (supposedly) more than 275, this is a pretty shitty plan.

(Okay, maybe there wasn't much of a plan in the first place - Thomas and Minho just sort of decided to rob their asshole principal, who is not at all affectionately called Rat Man by the student body because he looks sort of like a rat and has a receding hairline. He'd given them two weeks of detention for kissing on the football field after Minho's team had scored the winning touch down because the guy is a lame ass homophobe. Even their outraged parents couldn't get them out of it. It was detention for two hours every day after school for two weeks, or expulsion, which would mean Minho could kiss his sports scholarship to Stanford goodbye. So, that wasn't an option.

And he wouldn't even let them sit together during detention. They had to sit at opposite ends of the room and stare into nothing. The asshole wouldn't even let them do their homework. But during one of the sessions, he'd talked for a whole hour about the new safe in his house that he had some important family heirloom in. So, logically, rightfully, they decided to rob their principal's house and steal the heirloom straight from the safe.

For justice.

And that was pretty much the whole plan.)

Thomas should be used to this by now - he thinks things through for an average of about 0.3 seconds, usually, and this is no exception. It's not like stupid, impulsive decisions are new to him, or to Minho, for that matter. But that doesn't stop his heart from beating that much faster as Minho presses the bell of the stethoscope (which Minho swiped from the hospital where his mom works) to against the safe in front of him. It's from Brown Safe, and even though it's a personal safe, way easier to break in to than commercial or luxury safes, Thomas is still nervous. Some quick googling had proven that Brown Safe was one of the top safe manufacturers in, like, the world.

Skimming the eHow page for "How to Crack a Safe" at 11.30PM while pretty much inhaling burgers from the McDonald's drive through suddenly doesn't seem like adequate preparation.

"Fuck," Minho finally sighs from his position kneeling on the hard wood floor, twisting the dial of the small safe roughly. He's been trying to get it to open for about ten minutes, now, and Thomas is sure his knees must be aching. "Dude, do you have the eHow article?"

Thomas nods, pulling it up on his phone. He doesn't understand any of it. "Uh. Okay, you have to understand the, uh," Thomas squints at the diagram on the screen, "the spindle? It's like, inside the safe."

"Spindle? What is this, sleeping beauty?" Minho demands, yanking the stethoscope out of his ears, holding out his hand for the phone. His eyes go theatrically wide, and he gets up, shoves the phone into Thomas' face. "Jesus fuck, what's a drive cam?"

Thomas shrugs helplessly. "I dunno, don't you just - sort of listen to it? And it clicks, right? Like in spy movies?"

The look on Minho's face is a long suffering one, one that looks scarily like Gally's every time Thomas and Minho make out in front of him for more than five minutes.

"Yeah. And then I just use my laser watch to blast it open," Minho says sarcastically, crossing his arms.

"Thanks for the insightful comment, Minho," Thomas snarks. "Real helpful, dude."

Minho gives Thomas a fake smile. "I aim to please," he says, and kicks the safe hard.

The safe moves.

_The safe moves._

Holy fucking shit.

Dropping to his knees, Thomas just grabs onto the safe with both his hands and lifts it easily.

What kind of idiot doesn't bolt down a safe? Are they being Punk'd? What the hell is this?

"Oh my fucking God," Minho says incredulously. "Is this legit? We could've just lifted it? Dude. My knees are fucking bruised."

"Not like they weren't bruised from yesterday," Thomas grins as he gets to his feet, remembering the blowjob Minho had given him in one of the storerooms in between AP Chemistry and Trigonometry. It'd been pretty great.

Rolling his eyes, Minho jabs Thomas in the gut with his elbow before bending down to grab the safe from Thomas. He grunts a little as he settles it into his arms, clutching it to his chest. It's not that big, so he should be able to carry it no problem. Minho swings his head towards the door. "Let's get the fuck out of here, dude."

Thomas doesn't need telling twice. Once they're in the corridor leading to the front door of the house, Thomas' heart finally settles into a reasonable pace. They did it. They actually fucking did it. And, like, Thomas feels like he could do anything. Break into a fucking bank or something. Steal the whole fucking house. It'd serve Rat Man right, to come home to... No house.

Turns out breaking and entering is even better than a few jaegerbombs. Who knew?

"Holy shit," he says with a laugh, turning to look at Minho, a huge grin on his face. Minho beams back at him, and Thomas knows that his best friend - and boyfriend - must be feeling whatever weird high Thomas is on too.

Thomas is about to pull open the door when he sees it. Lights in the driveway.

The high crashes almost immediately. "Fuck," Minho hisses. "Thomas, the closet - the fucking closet, dude, open it!"

He does, pretty much crashing into it, tugging his boyfriend in after him. Minho stumbles, colliding with the back of the cupboard, and Thomas closes the door just as Rat Man’s foot steps echo in the corridor. In the dim light the streams into the closet from the hallway from thin slots in the door, Thomas can see Minho’s face – not white and pale, but flushed, his eyes bright. He's not scared. Fearless, as always.

Thomas can't fight the smile off his face.

The irony that they're hiding in a closet in the house of their homophobic principal is not lost on Thomas. God must really enjoy laughing at him, because, honestly, at this point Thomas' life feels like one big joke. Gally and Newt are gonna get a kick out of this when Thomas and Minho tell them tomorrow.

"If we'd just stayed in the closet, we wouldn't be in this mess," Thomas mumbles, and, shit, Minho's lip twitches, and then his eyes crinkle at the corners. He's going to laugh. Minho's going to fucking laugh and blow their cover.

Without thinking, Thomas grabs Minho's face, pressing their lips together firmly. The black haired boy still ends up chuckling, but at least it's smothered a little bit by Thomas kissing him. Then Minho's kissing him back, lips locking with Thomas' softly. He tastes like the chocolate milkshake he'd gotten from McDonald's, and Thomas leans as close to Minho as he can, till the safe that Minho is still clutching presses against both their stomachs. Minho slips his tongue into Thomas' mouth when the younger boy parts his lips slightly, and, holy shit, they're kissing, they're making out in _Rat Man's closet_.

They're so fucking dead if Rat Man opens the door.

Choosing to ignore that fact for now, Thomas slides his hands into Minho's hair, and Minho whines softly into the kiss. It's gonna be all messed up now, and he'll complain for ages, but Thomas knows he actually likes it - Minho's got a thing for having his hair played with or stroked. Or pulled.

A door upstairs slams, followed by the sounds of water hitting ceramic.

Thomas pulls back, catching his breath for a moment, and that's when the opening tune to Shake It Off start playing. Then Rat Man's voice drifts down the stairs, singing extremely loudly and off key.

Right. Okay.

"Don't laugh," he warns, but Minho's shoulders are already shaking as he tries to keep his chuckles in. Thomas lets out a soft laugh, pressing his hand over his mouth to stifle the rest of his laughter as he slowly opens the cupboard. Minho comes out of the closet first, and Thomas follows his lead, like always.

Rat Man hits the first chorus right when Thomas and Minho leave the house, shutting the front door softly and sprinting to Minho's car, parked three blocks away. Thomas prays to any God listening that they're not seen running like maniacs clutching and clutching a safe - if God likes laughing at Thomas' life, then he's owed at least one solid, right?

"The keys, Min," Thomas gestures to Minho. "Where are they?"

"Left pocket, bro."

Thomas nods, reaching into the left pocket of Minho's jeans. He unlocks the passenger door for Minho, who, for once, doesn't start an argument about who gets to drive. Probably just too relieved that they weren't caught. Crossing over to the driver's side, he slides into the seat. He floors it as soon as the key is in the ignition, heading back to Minho's place, where he'e staying the night.

Holy fucking shit.

_Oh my God._ They just stole Rat Man's safe and got away with it.

"That just happened," Minho informs Thomas, sounding exhilarated. Another high must be hitting him. "Dude, we just broke the law. We're gonna be legends at school. I mean, I'm already a legend, but-"

"I'd better be able to pay off all my student loans with whatever's in there,” Thomas grumbles, cutting Minho off before he can even start. "It'd better be a huge diamond or something."

Minho snorts, turning his head to smirk at Thomas. Their eyes lock, brown meeting brown, and Thomas can't help but smile. "I bet you a blowjob that it's a toupee. For his bald spot.”

That's... Oddly specific. He'll take that bet - blowjobs are awesome, especially if they're from Minho.

"You're on, dude."

* * *

 

(It _is_ a toupee, and Minho laughs until he cries for five whole minutes, and actually Skypes Newt and Gally right then to tell them. After that, Minho doesn't shut up about it until Thomas sucks him off so good that the usual big mouth is rendered completely silent, save for moaning Thomas' name, and he sounds so needy and hot and desperate that Thomas could probably get off to just that, honestly.

But still. A fucking toupee.

What the fuck is Thomas' life even, honestly.)

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry, I don't even know what this is. You can find me on tumblr at http://badboygally.tumblr.com come say hi! uwu


End file.
